An Important Dressing Lesson: Let's Talk Hemlines

We've spent some time talking about hemlines around here before--Susan's mother has a golden rule for how long your skirt needs to be that I've adopted as my own--but seeing a recent photo of an A-lister with a dress hitting her leg in a very unfortunate place made me realize it's high time to revisit the topic. Get my ultimate, comprehensive guide to this important dressing lesson, after the jump.

I love Drew Barrymore and many of her fashion choices. I love this Victoria Beckham Collection dress. But I absolutely hate the hemline.

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It hits her leg in an unequivocally unflattering place--somewhere between floor length and tea length--and instantly makes her look shorter, stumpier, and decidedly more grandmother-like. It's an unfortunate fashion faux pas, because if you took that thing up a good four inches, Drew would have been a "Loving Her Look" rather than an "Ooops, what can we learn from her mistake!?" And so, lovely ladies of STF, I present to you the comprehensive guide for knowing just how short or long your dress should be at any given time:

MINISKIRTS AND MINIDRESSES: I think ZZ Top said it best: "She's got legs, she knows how to use 'em." If you've got gorgeous gams, by all means, show them off! We decided a while back that going super-short for evening is a Do (according to a whopping 91% of the vote), but keep a few things in mind. I go by Susan's mother's rule on how short is too short: Put your arms down at your sides--if your hemline falls below your fingertips, it's safe to wear. You should also consider how appropriate a minidress is for the event you're attending. Party night with your girlfriends? Perfect. The first time you meet your new boyfriend's parents? Maybe not so much. It's also a look best left to after-dark hours. Opaque tights can help tame the flirt factor, and high heels, a good shave and faux tan are essential if you plan to go bare.

A FEW INCHES ABOVE THE KNEE: This length (like we saw on Camilla Belle a few days ago at the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund event) is the most versatile and is appropriate for practically any occasion. It works with heels or flats, with a flouncy or straight skirt, day or night. The only time I'd recommend staying away from the few-inches-above-the-knee hemline is for a seriously raging party--nothing says "I'm stuffy!" like being the only girl in the room covered up while everyone else is in miniskirts. If going short goes against your beliefs, opt for sexy black tuxedo pants instead.

KNEE LENGTH: This is perhaps the most conservative hemline of the bunch--even more so than something that sweeps the floor, and that's because it look so completely no-nonsense. If you're on the short side or don't feel like your legs are your best asset, this is a look you should stay away from. A few extra inches above or below the knee will do wonders to make your legs look longer, but bisecting them right in the middle won't do you any favors in the lengthening department. I prefer knee-length for daytime occasions (like Reese Witherspoon's recent fragrance launch), and the rest of the outfit should be equally sophisticated and polished. If you want to wear a plunging neckline, do it with a tea-length or floor-length skirt--if you go for knee-length, you'll just look like a naughty librarian. High heels are also an absolute must with this hemline.

TEA LENGTH: A "tea length" dress (so named because it's what a woman would wear to the tea table in the 1920s, according to Emily Post) falls about three to four inches below the knee and has lately become a great evening alternative to the floor-sweeping gown. I'm guessing that's the look Drew Barrymore was going for, but I think newcomer Carey Mulligan completely nailed it in this Vionnet dress a few weeks ago. She smartly chose a pair of nude shoes--my number one secret for making your legs look longer--and I think the low-cut neckline nicely balances out the extra material at the bottom of the dress. This is a look best left to evening--and my new favorite hemline for bridesmaid dresses!

FLOOR LENGTH: Save the floor length gown for Cinderella moments like black tie galas, your wedding, and the Oscars. In fact, so many women showed up to this year's Met Costume Institute Gala in short hemlines that I decided floor-sweeping gowns are starting to look a bit dated, unless it's an absolutely classic occasion. The fabric should just touch the floor you're standing on (Lindsay Price got it exactly right in this red Valentino) or leave a small and sexy train behind you (like Hilary Swank in this Vionnet number). Anything in between will just look like you forgot to go to the tailor.

And there you have it, girls: Everything you ever wanted to know about hemlines. And now, let's discuss! Which ones do you wear most often? When you dress up for a fancy event, do you do the short cocktail dress thing, or are you more of a tea-length kind of girl? Have you ever had an occasion to wear a gorgeous, floor-sweeping gown? What was it? Share!

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